


(it's not) Fair

by dls



Series: Inspired by The Amazing Devil [2]
Category: Original Work, The Amazing Devil (Band)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Dark, F/M, Inspired by Music, Prose Poem, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-14
Updated: 2020-05-14
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:53:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24175411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dls/pseuds/dls
Summary: He tells the joke, for what seems like the ten thousandth time.She laughs, for what feels like the ten thousandth time.Inspired by a darker reading ofFairby the Amazing Devil.
Series: Inspired by The Amazing Devil [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1756390
Comments: 14
Kudos: 44





	(it's not) Fair

**Author's Note:**

> So, um, this happened. I've no excuse for it but I am rather proud of and happy with how it turned out. 
> 
> Beta-ed by [Arboreal](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arboreal/pseuds/Arboreal).
> 
> References/Quotes:   
>  Title from and inspired by "Fair" by the Amazing Devil.

He tells her a joke on their first date. It’s not particularly funny and he cracks up before he can deliver the punchline. 

She laughs politely. 

*

He has a rough day at work and spends their entire date venting about it and apologizing for venting. 

She hates how his coworkers and boss are colluding against him, how unhappy he is, and how it’s all too much for him to bear sometimes. 

She feels utterly useless when her encouragements fall flat and her suggestions are rejected. 

The only thing she can offer is a promise to stand with him, fight for him. 

His eyes light up.  _ Promise? _

_ Yes. _

*

He tells the same joke a week later.

She laughs because he managed to tell the punchline correctly this time. 

*

She looks down at his sleeping face, his features slack in slumber, softer and younger, free from the weight of the world pressing down on his shoulders. It gets to be too much, sometimes, and he crumbles into jagged pieces that only she can put back together with gentle fingers running through his hair. 

The rush of being the only person who can do this for him, the only person who can make him feel alright, is heady.

*

He tells the joke, again.

She laughs just to have him laughing with her.

*

She’s cross with him for...something...but anger is hard to hold on to when he’s looking at her with a ridiculous pout and a carefree shrug and an accusation in his eyes that make her feel like she’s overreacting.

_ C’mon, loosen up. It’s not a big deal _ .

He’s right, it’s not a big deal. She can’t even remember what it is that she’s mad about anyway.

Shaking her head, she laughs it off and feels her shoulders relax when the corners of his eyes crinkle.

It’s almost unfair how he can do that. 

*

He tells the joke.

She doesn’t laugh and wishes she had when his face falls. And stays down and drawn for the rest of the night. It only brightens when she apologizes for missing the punchline and asks him to tell the joke again. And laughs this time. 

*

Her gaze catches his in the full-length mirror. 

They’ve got a reservation to celebrate both their anniversary and moving in together. 

_ Oh darling, please be mine. _

He’s watching her with such adoration. It sends a thrill down her spine. Slowly, she skims her fingers over each dress, passing over the ones that make his brows furrow and stopping at the one that has his eyes darkening with heat. 

It’s not the most comfortable of her dresses, she winces as she squeezes herself into it. She won’t be able to eat much at dinner but the leftovers will make for a good lunch tomorrow. 

*

He tells the joke at dinner. 

Her laugh is more of a wheeze. It’s hard to breathe in the dress. What's a little pain for fashion, what's a little pain for love?

*

_ You don't need to pretend to be someone you're not. _

She tells him when he nearly works himself up into a tizzy before meeting her parents. She loves him, every part of him, even the parts that fart and snore. Except, she winks, maybe don't do that in front of my parents.

Laughing, he vows to save the farts and snores for her like the romantic he is. 

*

He tells the joke.

She laughs and sends her parents a pleading look when they don't. They get the hint, thankfully.

*

He gets into these...moods...sometimes. Melancholy and dramatic. 

_ Oh Christ, you'll be the death of me! _

She rolls her eyes at him and squeals when he picks her up and spins her until they tumble into the couch, tangled together like they're never meant to be apart.

*

He tells the joke to her friends. 

She laughs but they don't, she tells them off for being rude.

*

They fight. Or rather, she fights with him because he never engages.

She screams and cries until her voice is hoarse.

He sits on the couch, arms hugging his knees with a cup of yogurt in one hand and a spoon in another.

The TV is on, illuminating the tear tracks on his face.

She feels like a monster for shouting at him when he's just trying to watch his show, for making him cry, for wanting too much and being not enough.

He always forgives her, though she doesn't deserve it.

*

He tells the joke as she curls up against him on the couch.

She laughs through her sobs.

*

This is their fairy tale, full of grand declarations of love that she can’t help but swoon at. She’s in his bones, engraved upon his heart, and the reason for which he was born. 

It’s romantic and so, so sweet. 

It makes her teeth hurt.

*

He tells the joke.

She laughs at him instead of with him, just to be spiteful.

*

There are things one simply doesn't so in polite company, like farting and snoring.

She's not polite company. She's someone he can be himself with. She's in love with every part of him.

She's not sure if that's a blessing or a curse.

*

Sometimes, when she meets up with friends who have faded into acquaintances, they always ask about her relationship.

She dreads those questions because he doesn't like them. So she has her answers ready when they not-so-subtly mention how scarce she's been.

They don't understand the kind of love she has found, true and all-consuming, because they've never experienced it.

To them, it's a crumbling castle, a sinking ship, a crashing plane.

To her, it's her own special brand of ruin, to be buried in, to drown for, and to fall with.

*

He tells the joke, his teeth against her ear.

She laughs, her claw over his heart.

*

It's not always rainbows and sunshine. It's not supposed to be.

Can't have rainbows without the storms.

She trusts him to lead her through the wreckage, burying her head in his chest and keeping her eyes closed, following his lead like a dance.

When he trips, it just means they're falling for each other again.

*

He tells the joke, the punchline muffled by her kiss.

She laughs and tastes the joy on his lips.

*

Years ago, she thought about leaving because the endless cycle of highs and lows was too much, the weight of being thought of as  _ the reason he was born _ too heavy to bear, the insidious infection of insecurity too unnerving.

She's never craved people, let alone everyone, to think of her as  _ cool _ .

But he needs her and makes her laugh, like no one else has before and ever will.

And she  _ promised _ to stand with him and fight for him.

Love is selfless, after all.

*

He tells the joke, for what seems like the ten thousandth time. 

She laughs, for what feels like the ten thousandth time. 

**Author's Note:**

> [dls-ao3.tumblr.com](https://dls-ao3.tumblr.com/)


End file.
